The five of us were sitting in front of the television watching a movie. The man on the screen was clumsily walking around an making a fool of himself and talking about how he loved some girl. I was only 10 years old, amazed at the romantic way this man was confessing his love. My little sister sat on the floor playing with barbies while my mom got up to wash some dishes. My grandmother and my brother were also there, enjoying the movie quietly; but suddenly, the screen froze. My grandma sat up and my brother kept asking, “What’s wrong, what’s wrong?”
My grandmother had a stroke that night. She had recently undergone open heart surgery which influenced the onset of the stroke. That night is almost a blur to me. All I remember is sitting there wondering what would happen next, but to this day, that screen remains frozen in my head. I have never finished the movie, but I did learn something important that night.
My mom told me, “Your grandmother has always been very strong, she’ll get through this.” The doctors had told us otherwise; my grandmother was supposed to have died that night but she is still with us today. She was never supposed to be able to walk, but she learned how to within a matter of weeks from the date of the stroke.
I believe that if you can find the strength in yourself to move on from an obstacle, you can succeed, no matter what the obstacle may be.
Great essay! One thing I saw was that you give a lot of detail in the beginning, which is great, but it's not completely necessary. You could use that room to maybe extend your belief more or talk about your grandmother's strength. Along with that idea, you say you don't remember anything from the night but you give all of the detail in the first paragraph. I understand what you're saying, but if you get rid of some of the detail in the beginning, it could be more effective and that you really don't remember much.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comment above. That would give you more room to talk about your emotions more or the reactions of those around you. This is a great story, though!!
ReplyDeleteGreat Post! In the second sentence I think you meant to put "and" but instead put "an".
ReplyDeleteGreat narration at the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI think your subject is very interesting and your personal testimony drew me in.
ReplyDeleteThis is great! I really like your topic! And your imagery!
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